The Thirty-Year Return

What a long partnership costs—and what it pays.

Dave and I are both alphas. In most rooms, that's a problem waiting to happen—two men used to being the one who decides, sitting at the same table for thirty years.

It shouldn't have worked.

But it does.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.”

I love that Solomon talks about a return. He's not just being sentimental about friendship. He's describing an investment. And investments only produce a return when you keep feeding them.

TWO ALPHAS, TWO LANES

One of the first things we had to settle was who follows whom, and when.

Dave follows my lead on relationships, business development and finances. I follow his on construction, construction management and execution. Neither of us surrendered our strengths. We surrendered the need to be the strongest at everything.

That's stewardship. God rarely gives one person every gift a business requires—which may be His way of making sure we need each other. Over thirty years, we've learned to trust each other's strengths. That trust didn't happen overnight. It was built decision by decision, project by project, conversation by conversation.

WE FED IT

Longevity is not the absence of disagreement. Dave and I have had plenty.

What carried us through those disagreements was mutual respect and a decision we made long before the hard conversations arrived: we would give each other the benefit of the doubt.

We learned that disagreement doesn't have to become division. We could challenge each other without questioning each other's character or commitment.

Then 2008 came.

The recession didn't just test our business. It tested our trust. We sat in the same room, looked at the same frightening numbers, and made difficult decisions together—decisions neither of us wanted to make alone.

Solomon continues in verse 10: “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

We strengthened one another in those times.

That's one of the great benefits of longevity: you build relational capital. You know each other's strengths, weaknesses, intentions and character. Trust isn't assumed; it has been earned through thousands of interactions.

WHAT GREW THAT WE NEVER PLANNED

Dave understood relationship building when he came, what he got from me is a deeper understanding of its value. What I got from him, was a deeper understanding of construction. The two of us both grew from each other’s area of strength.

That's a pretty remarkable byproduct of thirty years together.

Dave once told me, “You are fair. You're not greedy.”

I value that more than any award we've hung on a wall.

Because fairness creates trust. Trust creates safety. And safety makes longevity possible.

So maybe the better question isn't, “Am I getting what I deserve from this relationship?” It's, “Am I becoming someone worth partnering with?”

That's part of what I mean by Supernatural Business. Not a mysterious spiritual business method, but God using biblical principles—trust, humility, generosity, forgiveness, perseverance and mutual respect—to produce extraordinary results.

The world tells us to protect our position.

Scripture tells us two are better than one.

Thirty years in, I'd put my money on Solomon.