Mentor Mentality: Walk this Way

I recently celebrated a friendship with my mentor of 20 years. As I have reflected on this milestone, I realize how important it was for me to have him in my life and how his friendship has impacted me and shaped my life. It brought to mind this scripture: 

"Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm."

Proverbs 13:20 NIV

The idea of walking in scripture is a bigger concept than going for a hike or moving slowly on our feet. It means, to live and act or behave; to pursue. The bible uses this idea of walking to imply how we should live our lives. We are encouraged to “walk by faith” or “in the light” and “by the spirit.”  Jesus’ invite to “follow me” wasn’t just an invitation to his entourage. It was an invitation to his group, a new community where his disciples could learn from Him. An invitation to spend time together. Young aspiring disciples would hope that a Rabbi or teacher would extend the same invitation across the ancient world. This mentor type relationship would shape their lives. Do you have a mentor? Are you walking with the wise? 

 

The inevitable question that I often get asked is: “Who should be my mentor?” It’s a good question. When you recognize a trait, skill or ability in someone else’s life that you want to replicate in your life – that person becomes a good candidate for a mentor. However, a word of warning; just because someone is excelling in one area of their life does not mean they are excelling in every area of life. You must be aware of this and be highly self aware as you imitate and learn from them. Your business mentor might not be the same as your marriage mentor. The key skills that you need are awareness to identify a mentor and intentionality. Be intentional and clear about your desire to be mentored by them.  

A few keys that I have found in the area of intentionality are these: 

 

  • Be respectful of them, especially in the area of time. This means that you should be prepared for any appointment (whether in person or on a call) Be early, have some question ready. Take some notes as they speak. 

 

  • Be thankful and show honor. You are receiving something from someone, remember to show gratitude. This can be done verbally and tangibly. Perhaps you can write a letter of thanks, maybe give a gift. These gestures communicate honor. Honor is a virtue that elevates the mentor and creates a blessing for the mentee. Honor is like a key that unlocks blessings. It is a virtue that has somewhat been lost but a person committed to it will be surprised at the blessing connected to it. 

 

  • Put into practice what they impart to you. In the same lane as honor, taking advice and putting energy, resource and time behind it shows a high regard for your mentor. It becomes legacy for the teacher and is deeply rewarding to know you have made a difference in a person’s life. 

 

The benefit of having a mentor that you know and can spend time with is the combination of learning how and why. Sometimes it can be expressed as being caught and taught. You learn the practical of how to do something but also the spirit in which do it. As I reflect on my own personal mentor, I am thankful for the wisdom of how to navigate challenging issues but also the spirit in which I need to move in during those times.  

"And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ."

1 Corinthians 11:1 NIV

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