Prevent “Locking Up” by Being a Peacemaker.

Feb 18

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Prevent “Locking Up” by Being a Peacemaker

“Locking Horns” is a common term we use for arguing, fighting or disagreeing. It is borrowed from creatures that have antlers or horns. It is fairly common that during battles for supremacy, they get entangled and locked up with one another. Deadly lock-ups happen all the time and grisly pictures can be found on the internet of animals who starved to death, died of exhaustion, or fell into danger while in conflict. It serves as a vivid picture of how unresolved conflict can escalate in dangerous ways.

We have established that conflict can be costly in many different areas of life and is not limited to just financial loss. In most cases, it is not wise to avoid conflict because prolonging the issue often doesn’t improve the situation. It is a valuable ability to reconcile problems – be a peacemaker. Matthew 5:9 reveals the merit of excelling in this area:

“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

Matthew 5:9 MSG

Best Practices of a Peace Maker

1. Be Proactive

Take the initiative and deal with conflict early. Allowing a conflict go on for a longer period of time increases the damage it can cause. Matthew 18, (verses 15 and onwards) serves as a good roadmap for resolving conflict and gives us the cue to be the initiator in issues of dispute or offense. Make a plan to deal with conflict quickly. If you are in upper management or a leader in your company, it is in your organizations best interest for you to resolve the conflict. I have seen it many times that when the top leaders are in conflict it has a ripple effect throughout every level of a company. Lead from the top by being a peacemaker.

2. De-escalate the situation

There are many ways to de-escalate a situation and as you grow in leadership you will be able to determine the best course of action. Knowing when, where and how are crucial elements to take the sting out of conflict.

When – timing is important, sometimes building in a cooldown for the parties involved is key to a successful resolution.
Where – Rarely have I seen effective resolution happen through digital written formats. Emails and texts are not good mediums for resolution, wisdom says that it is not good to send them when you are still angry or frustrated. Resolution happens best face to face. Set a meeting, even a video call can work.
How – Exercise humility. In my experience, the humble person wins more than the proud person. This can go against your nature but rarely have two proud people effectively resolved conflicts.

3. Start with Prayer

Prayer is a powerful tool in the peacemaker’s collection. Often seen as a last resort than a first response. Prayer changes hearts, brings new perspectives and challenges any wrong spirit behind an argument. Prayer builds unity. It is why Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies. Prayer is one of the key primers for forgiveness. Forgiveness might be the greatest secret weapon in conflict resolution.

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